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about

This spoof is all about Pansy Parkinson, one of the worst students at Hogwarts.

lyrics

First things first, I'm a real witch
Stand back Gryffindor, you 'bout to feel it
And all you muggle-born wizards, I'mma beat ya down
Like I'm givin' lessons in Quidditch
If you wanna bad witch, that's me
Evil like Kenevil, little weasel that's me
Full of snark, I'm a narc, full of dark ideas
My boyfriends got a dark mark on his wrist
Potter always makes us lose and we hate that
But Umbridge gave us power to abate that
Bring the traitors in, where my mates at?
You best believe I'll make you pay, brat!

My name's Pansy, and my blood is gold
A Slytherin bully, and a real pain, don't'cha know?
My name's Pansy, I'mma little cray
Don't mess with my name, I'm a hag

I say, baby, I'm pure blood, but your blood is pure mud
I can't stand Hermione, and Weasley is no good
But Harry's the worst one, his allies are so dumb
Hagrid is stupid, I could rant about the DA...
But I mean Gryffindor's fine, if you like mudbloods and swine
If I got put into that house, I'd think I'd just want to die
Slytherin is the best, and everyone is well dressed
'Cuz we got plenty of money, I mean now who would've guess?

Now tell me, who dat, who dat? Who's a true prat? True prat?
I be tellin' on my peers, cuz' I'm a hood rat, hood rat
I'm a mean little snitch, aidin' You-Know-Who
Tryin' to get rid of Potter through a pure-blooded coup

My name's Pansy, and my blood is gold
A Slytherin bully, and a real pain, don't'cha know?
My name's Pansy, I'mma little cray
Don't mess with my name, I'm a hag

Still thinkin' I'm the highest
But I can't even see I'm biased
My actions are just dreadful
I'm more twisted than a super-evil pretzel

That's just the way I love it
Bein' bad is the best and you can shove
We'll just see who is better
My blood is as pure as this rap is clever

My name's Pansy, and my blood is gold
A Slytherin bully, and a real pain, don't'cha know?
My name's Pansy, I'mma little cray
Don't mess with my name, I'm a hag

Who dat, who dat? A mean little snitch
Who dat, who dat? A super-wicked witch
Who dat, who dat? A mean little snitch

I'm a hag

credits

from Fantastic Beats and Where to Hear Them, released July 1, 2016

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The 8th Horcrux Ottawa, Kansas

The 8th Horcrux is a wizard rock band that specializes in Harry Potter-inspired tunes... with a familiar twist.

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