The Chamber of Secret Tracks

by The 8th Horcrux

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about

This is an album of tracks that just barely missed the cut for our "Greatest Hits" album. Enjoy!

Track 13 from "Potterwatch!" (2009)
Tracks 5 & 11 from "Accio Awesome" (2010)
Tracks 1, 6, 12, & 14 from "Noize from the Cupboard" (2011)
Track 15 from "Pottermost!" (2011)
Tracks 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, & 10 from "Ridiculously Wicked" (2012)

Buy our other albums through Kunaki: kunaki.com/msales.asp?PublisherId=129998&pp=1

credits

released June 1, 2013

Alex Boyd: Drums on "Lavender's Revenge"
Jason Robbins: Lyrics to "Malfoy"
Album cover licensed under Creative Commons via WikiCommons

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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about

The 8th Horcrux Ottawa, Kansas

The 8th Horcrux is a wizard rock band that specializes in Harry Potter-inspired tunes... with a familiar twist.

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Track Name: Viva la Voldemort
I want to rule the world
Wands go up when I give the word
But at the moment I'm less then dead
Stuck on the back of some weird dude's head

I want to rule the skies
Watch as the light leaves Cedric's eyes
Listen as the crowds will say
Harry Potter is dead
Voldemort's head

Since Dumbledore's got the Sorcerer's Stone
I'll let my Basilisk go out to roam
And for some reason I can't foresee
Harry Potter will probably beat me
And though it might get old
I still want to rule the world

Now I'm just a memory
Trapped in a book for a century
I am Slytherin's only son
And I can't believe what I'd become
The Ministry of Magic swears
That I am just not there
And 'cuz dad abandoned my mom
Oh why would I keep the name Tom?

Since Dumbledore's got the Sorcerer's Stone
I'll let my Basilisk go out to roam
And for some reason I can't foresee
Harry Potter will probably beat me
And though it might get old
I still want to rule the world
Track Name: Brokenlocket
This is more than a typical outing
On the run, ain't much fun, snatchers roam in' free
Whoa, we're waiting to end Voldemort

Dumbledore left a tricky little mission
And now we've got to make a hard decision
Horcrux, horcrux, which to go after
I wish we had a hint from our former headmaster

Oh oh, thanks a ton Dumbledore...

See, we've been hunting all week
For bits of Voldie's psyche
We got the sword made by goblins
Now let's break this evil locket tonight
Come, that's right
Honest, Harry, I'll do
Any spell we need to
I got a bag that's like a TARDIS
Forget Ron; he departed tonight
Come on, that's right, cheerio

Filled with dread; Dobby's dead
Forgetting what's at stake
Followin' a patronus into a lake, oh oh
Snape was good all along

See, we've been hunting all week
For bits of Voldie's psyche
We got the sword made for Godric
Now let's break this wretched goblet tonight
Honest Harry, I'll do
Dark spells if we need to
Sneak in a bank, with a goblin
Watch as the guards are outsmarted tonight
Come on, that's right, imperio!


Breaking into Gringotts ain't that hard to do
Using the cloak and some wicked spells too
GOBLINS in the front, a dragon in the back
Maybe I was wrong; this plan is kind of wack

We don't fight horcrux's usually
Normally its snakes or Malfoy, truthfully
He's - at Hogwarts; it's time - to end it, here we go

See, we've been hunting all week
For bits of Voldie's psyche
We got the sword made by goblins
Now let's break this evil locket tonight
Come on, that's right, cheerio!
Track Name: Kreacher
I’d rather kiss a banshee, than have to deal with Kreacher
Sirius would agree, no one wants a Kreacher
He needs a bath badly, he smells just like a sneaker
Some please stab me, I have to deal with Kreacher

Kreacher smells really bad
And he slinks just like a cat
Through the halls of Grimmauld Place
And if I had my preferred way
I’d make Kreacher go away
But, alas, he lurks in the shade

I’d rather pet Nagini, then have to deal with Kreacher
I think Dobby would agree, no one wants a Kreacher
He needs a bath badly, he smells just like a sneaker
Some please stab me, I have to deal with Kreacher

Now Sirius is gone and I got his home
And that includes this creepy gnome
Who made his nest in the kitchen
Maybe if I treat him right, maybe then I can make him ease his spite
Kreacher’s handy if you need a snoop or spy

Millions of house elfs, slavin’ away
Why’d I get stuck with, one so crazy
Millions of house elfs, working all day
Why is mine full of moral decay

Kreacher!

Millions of house elfs, slavin’ away
Why’d I get stuck with, one so crazy
Millions of house elfs, working all day
Maybe he’ll make me a sandwich one day

Kreacher!
Track Name: All the Slytherins (Better Run)
Malfoy's got a quick tongue
He likes to pick on kids just for fun
He likes to make elaborate threats
But he's just all talk
He's a cowardly kid

Yeah! Malfoy's friends are not much fun
And his dad's a jerk and he judges others
Based on his "purer blood"
But that time is through, yeah that time is through

All the Slytherins who are hurting kids
Better run, better run
'Cuz I'm the Chosen One
All the Slytherins who are taunting kids
Better run, better run
I don't like a bully

Death Eaters are all the same
They don't 'bout love, 'cuz Voldemort is a grub
But they're in for a surprise.
I'll say, "Your blood might be pure, but you soul is the pits, yeah"

All the Slytherins who are hurting kids
Better run, better run
'Cuz I'm the Chosen One
All the Slytherins who are taunting kids
Better run, better run
I don't like a bully

All the Slytherins who are hurting kids
Better run, better run
'Cuz I'm the Chosen One
All the Slytherins who are taunting kids
Better run, better run
I don't like a bully

All the Slytherins who are hurting kids
Better run, better run
'Cuz I'm the Chosen One
All the Slytherins who are taunting kids
Better run, better run
I don't like a bully
Track Name: I Can Stop Voldemort
Woah! Woah!
Woah!
Woah! Woah!
Woah!

I can stop Voldemort
I can stop Voldemort
I’ve gotta have the cloak, cuz he’s the one to beat
I’ve gotta stop him, cuz he’ll try to really stop me

Oh, I can stop Voldemort, Voldemort
I can stop Voldemort
Look, there’s the elder wand, the diadem’s a jewel
And honey, you ain’t me, I’mma beat old You Know Who

Monday to Sunday we're out on the run
But now I’m Undesirable number one
I’ve got a real big problem, seven items to seek
No longer got the trace on me, I’m seventeen

I got wand and the cloak, we’re brewin’ draughts of Polyjuice
And all the prisoners in Azkaban are loose
Screw Hogwarts and my education
No sleep! no sleep! I’m on Dumbledore’s mission ‘cuz

Oh, I can stop Voldemort, Voldemort
I can stop Voldemort
Look, there’s the elder wand, the diadem’s a jewel
And honey, you ain’t me, I’mma beat old You Know Who

Woah! Woah!
Woah!
Woah! Woah!
Woah!

Party like tomorrow’s Voldy’s funeral
Gotta stop mixin’ Polyjuice with hair and cuticles
This is unusual, so bloody unusual
Man, my life is beautiful but our souls are mutual

OK witches, Potter and his Wheezy
Krum saved Her-mi-oh-ninny
Harry turned into some really strange aquatic species
Those were the days of our lives before the soul parted
I pray that Voldy doesn’t take the life of Harry Potter!

I can stop Voldemort
I can stop Voldemort
I’ve gotta have the cloak, cuz he’s the one to beat
I’ve gotta stop him, cuz he’ll try to really stop me

Oh, I can stop Voldemort, Voldemort
I can stop Voldemort
Look, there’s the elder wand, the diadem’s a jewel
And honey, you ain’t me, I’mma beat old You Know Who

Can’t stop, can’t stop the boy who lived Woah! Woah!
Can’t stop, can’t stop the boy who lived Woah! Woah!
Can’t stop, can’t stop the boy who lived Woah! Woah!
Can’t stop, can’t stop the boy who lived Woah! Woah!
Track Name: Marauder's Map
If there's a destination you really want to go
But you don't know the passage or the corridor
A place to hide from Filch's cat
A gift from Prongs, yeah that's my dad

Pullin' out wands with secret passwords
There's two twin brothers up to no good
Just grab the map and give it a tap
Just give it a tap

Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)

Sneak through the halls with the invisible cloak
Thanks to Fred and George Weasley, those mischievous blokes
Leaving Snape none the wiser
Move through the castle like a Knight Bus driver
Hide my shoes with the cloak as I cruise
Sneak on over to Honeydukes
Hiding from Peeves using the map
Uh-oh, Here comes Filch... Let's skidat

Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Track Name: It's Quidditch Time
All the kids are wavin' hands
There's a Grim up in the stands
Flyin' round until its night
Hope we don't get in a fight
Dementors all up in the pitch
Malfoy nearly got the snitch
Hagrid's grillin' barbecue
Dodge the bludgers or they'll bruise

Pictures of our flight
Were taken last night
By Colin
Oh well…
Flying is a blur
But we all know it’s so cool

It's Quidditch time
We gotta beat the Slytherin's
And get all the Quaffles in
Don't get hit by Fred and George

It's Quidditch time
Streaking on my precious broom
Party in the common room
Fred and George nabbed lots of food

It's Quidditch time
Breakin' all of the house rules
There's nothing here that can top-op
This game

It's Quidditch time
And we gottaaaa win
It's Quidditch time
And we gottaaaa win

Oliver Wood's the best goalie
Playing chaser is tricky
McGonnagal is 'bout to faint
The other team is gonna cheat
Dumbledore is on his toes
Rain is pouring on our robes
Lockhart took Harry’s bones away
Hey, at least I got no pain

Pictures of our flight
Were taken last night
By Colin
Oh well...
Flying is a blur
But we all know its so cool
Dang

It's Quidditch time
If we lose to Hufflepuff
I'll be crying for a month
I mean Diggory's not that tough

It's Quidditch time
Yeah we need to catch the snitch
Hope my broom don't get bewitched
Flying faster on the pitch

It's Quidditch time
Breakin' all of the house rules
There's nothing here that can top-op
This game

It's Quidditch time
And we gottaaaa win
It's Quidditch time
And we gottaaaa win
It's Quidditch time

Time for Quidditch
Time for Quidditch
Time for Quidditch
Time for Quidditch
Time for Quidditch
Time for Quidditch

(Solo)



It's Quidditch time
And if we lose to Ravenclaw
I'll be climbing up the wall
We gotta get the Quidditch cup

It’s Quidditch time
Breakin' all of the house rules
There's nothing here that can top-op
This game

It's Quidditch time
And we gotta win

It's Quidditch time
And we gotta win

It's Quidditch time
And we gotta win
Track Name: Teen Death Eater
His name is Harry
I have a dream about him
He dies violently
And I get to do the honors
I want to shiv
The Boy Who Lived
He always defeats me with Ron
I feel more worthless than Bella Swan

Cause I'm just a teen death eater baby
Yeah I'm just a teen death eater baby
Tasked to kill Dumbledore, baby, yipee

O-o-o-oh

Hermione's a witch
She's Harry's friend and she's
A total… muggle
She's such a know-it-all
I hate his whole gang
Go get bit by Fang
Moaning Myrtle's my only friend
That's almost as creepy as how Twin Peaks ended

Cause I'm just a teen death eater baby
Yeah I'm just a teen death eater baby
Moaning and whining like a baby, that's me

O-o-o-oh

Oh Yeeah! Death eater! I wish I could beat him during Quidditch
Oh Yeeah! Death eater! I wish I could beat him during Quidditch

I’m just a teen in over his head
And now Voldemort wants my family dead
Yeah I'm just a teen death eater, yeah pity me

O-o-o-oh

Oh Yeeah! Death eater! I wish I could beat him during Quidditch
Oh Yeeah! Death eater! I wish I wasn’t such a sissy
Track Name: My Name is Fleur
You mock how I speak, eek
That is so passé
Bill -- Weas-ley, yes, S'il vous plait
Magnifique, Chic, My dress is white
French witches like me, might steal the limelight
A Dragon? Oh… What are Grindylows?
Champ-i-own, Oui, I’m from Beaubaton
All because - my name was on a slip
The Triwiz Tournament; I want to win it

My name is Fleur, Fleur
And I'm from France
Watch as I twirl, twirl
At the Yule Ball Dance
My name is Fleur, Fleur
From a magic land
Watch as I jam, jam
To this wiz-rock band

Veelas will catch your eye
They make all the boys sigh
Aren't I a cutie pie?
Bill Weasley is my guy
Veela's will catch your eye
They make all boys sigh
Our carriage is really fly

I’m way cooler than Harry Potter

Now all the boys are starin' at
my nice hat
And Ginny likes to call me "Phlegm"
what a brat
Flow’r of the court ‘n flow’r the heart
I'm a French chick and I'm really, really smart

Now I gotta say merci Har-ray
He saved Gabrielle from drowning that day
In the first task fought a common Welsh Green
My name is - Fleur, married to a Weasley

Veelas will catch your eye
They make all the boys sigh
Aren't I a cutie pie?
Bill Weasley is my guy
Veela's will catch your eye
They make all boys sigh
Our carriage is really fly

I’m way cooler than Harry Potter

Veelas will catch your eye
They make all the boys sigh
Aren't I a cutie pie?
Bill Weasley is my guy
Veela's will catch your eye
They make all boys sigh
Our carriage is really fly
Track Name: Malfoy
Malfoy… Malfoy
Well, I’m packin’ up my wand and I’m a head to school
Where real wizards play Quidditch while flying on brooms
Find a nest in the woods for Hagrid’s hippogriff
If he loses control, I’m sure I’m gonna get bit.
And I’m a wiz-rockin’ pure-blooded snob
Got my new robes and my Nimbus 2001
Unlike Ron Weasley who’s family’s a joke
With their hand-me-down robes and wands that are broke
He’s terrified of spiders, what a strange fellow
And crashed the family car into the Whomping Willow
No way do I wanna… be Miss Granger
Her love of school is strange, her taste in men is stranger.
Fred and George have books and potions that pleases
They’ll set up a shop of Wizardly Wheezes.
Practice dark arts like a sinister boy.
And I’m joinin’ House Slytherin’… ‘Cause yo my name is

Malfoy baby
When I’m not mouthing off, I’m usually whining.
Malfoy baby
My personality’s evil and slimy.
Malfoy baby
Death Eater by night and a creep all day
Malfoy baby
I can smell a muggle from a mile away

Catchin’ Harry with a jinx tryin’ to break in
Umbridge gives 50 points… to House Slytherin!
Whatever Harry pulls, you know I’m gonna foil
With my faithful servants Crabbe and Goyle!
Harry’s starved for attention. He thinks he’s so cool.
Because I get disarmed every time we duel.
Me and Snape are tight, he’s always got my back boy…
I’m a let Lord Vol-de-mort know why I’m called a…

Malfoy baby
Would’ve poisoned Dumbledore, but I missed my timing.
Malfoy baby
Buying evil artifacts with my mommy.
You I’mma Malfoy baby
Keep-in’ those Horcrux safe all day.
Malfoy baby
The BATHroom’s where I’m hiding away


Yeah… Harry Potter… He’s as good as dead!
He’s got Voldemort’s scar marked right in his head!
You’ll never be like me, it’s just no use
Unless you swig a bottle of Polyjuice!
Who cares that you made your Aunt plump till she burst
You’re not the first, I’ve done worse, with my Cruciatus Curse!
The Ministry of Magic is on our side.
I fixed the Vanishing Cabinet. It’s got men inside!
Cause chaos, with my power
Get Dumbledore thrown from the astronomy tower
You eaves drop on me under your cloak.
Magic won’t stop me breaking your nose.
Harry wanna spy on me… Tryin’ to stop Voldemort’s prophecy.
He ain’t like me. He’s just a powerless wizard.
I’ll have him transfigured, into some kind of lizard.
Occlumency and a potions masta’
Only spell I fear is “Sectumsempra!”
I won’t be stopped, I’ll always have a plan.
To keep from being locked away in Azkaban.

Malfoy
I -hate -filthy mudbloods like Hermoine
Malfoy
I’ll expose everyone in Dumbledore’s Army
Malfoy
Unbreakable Vow with Professor Snape
Malfoy
I keep getting followed by Kreacher and Dobby.
Malfoy
Moaning Myrtle saw me crying.
Malfoy
Death Eater by night and a creep all day.
Malfoy
I can smell a muggle from a mile away.
Track Name: The Chosen One
Do you know the Chosen One?
You Know the Chosen One?
You gota know the Chosen One?
Harry!

Do you know the Chosen One?
You Know the Chosen One?
You gota know the Chosen One?
Harry!

Do you know the Chosen One?
You Know the Chosen One?
You gota know the Chosen One?
Harry!

Voldemort's the enemy
The lord of Nagini
Voldemort's the enemy, Harry
(O-O-O-O)

He'll overthrow the Ministry
The vast majority
Killing all the aurors in control
(O-O-O-O)

Raising all the inferi
His Dark Lords infantry
Revolt against the horror to "obey"
(O-O-O-O)

His Horcrux is the enemy
Find them with urgency
So gather them and rid us of his soul
(O-O-O-O)

Do you know the Chosen One?
You Know the Chosen One?
You gota know the Chosen One?
Harry!

Do you know the Chosen One?
You Know the Chosen One?
You gota know the Chosen One?
Harry!

The Dark Lord will arise
When the bloods been sacrificed
Don't be blinded by the Ministries lies
Use your eyes

SNAPE!

Voldemort's the enemy (O-O-O-O)
He wants to get to Harry (O-O-O-O)
Burning with dark fury (O-O-O-O)
He'll silence his enemy
So fight, so fight with... Sectumsempra!

Where is the Chosen One?
Is the Chosen One?
So where is the Chosen One?
Harry!

So where is the Chosen One?
Is the Chosen One?
So where is the Chosen One?
Harry!

So where is the Chosen One?
Is the Chosen One?
So where is the Chosen One?
Harry!

Voldemort's the enemy (So where is the Chosen One?)
Burning with fury (Is the Chosen One?)
Voldemort's the enemy (So where is the Chosen One?)
(O-O-O-O) (Harry!)

His Horcrux is the enemy (So where is the Chosen One?)
Find them with urgency (Is the Chosen One?)
So gather them and rid us of his soul (So where is the Chosen One?)
(O-O-O-O) (Harry!)
Track Name: Lavender's Revenge
I thought that you knew, that I was in love with you
But I wish nothing but a curse on you both
Another girl just like me
Is her name Hermione
Would she latch on to you in the Common Room
How about in Herbology?
And would she bear a Weasley?
What are you doing with that pathetic Muggle?

‘Cuz the spell that I brewed that I laced with love
Is not going to fade
As the light did from Cedric’s eyes... no!
And every time I hear her name
I recall how you told me you'd hold until you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here right behind you
There’s no chance that you'll ever get away
It’s not fair to resign me and what's with this
Broken heart that you gave to me
You’re cruel, cruel, cruel, CRUCIO!

You seem very prim, things looks peaceful
I just saw a grim, I thought you should know
Did you ever love me, Mr. Ronald Weasley
You made it snow in the Great Hall at dinner
A bludger square in the face, I’d chain you down in a lake
I bet you see me whenever you snog her

‘Cuz the spell that I brewed that I laced with love
Is not going to fade
As the light did from Cedric’s eyes... no!
And every time I hear her name
I recall how you told me you'd hold until you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here right behind you
There’s no chance that you'll ever get away
It’s not fair to resign me and what’s with this
Broken heart that you gave to me
You’re cruel, cruel, cruel, CRUCIO!

‘Cuz the spell that I brewed that I laced with love
Is not going to fade
As the light did from Cedric’s eyes...
And you know it!
You'll be back with me as fast as You-Know-Who came back to us
I hope you feel
Well can you feel it?

And I'm here right behind you
There’s no chance that you'll ever get away
It’s not fair to resign me and what’s with this
Broken heart that you gave to me
You’re cruel, cruel, cruel, CRUCIO!
Track Name: The Battle of Hogwarts
The room... The room... The room is on fire
The room... The room... The room is on fire
The room... The room... The room is on fire
Better get some water, put the fiendfyre out...
Burn, fiendfyre... BURN!

Hello... My name is Harry P and I'm a young wizard
I left Hogwarts School to be real cool and fight a human lizard
I don't know, oh no... My gang be runnin' by runnin'
Death Eaters after us 'cuz I'm fly
I can take the heat 'cuz I can't be beat
Believe me, Voldie's tried...
I'm not good at divination
Sadly lack the inner eye
But if you're down in Knockturn Alley, I will stick it where the sun don't shine
I really am my father's son; always shielding my own ego,
I enjoy a noble fight, but I've been known to scream "Protego"...

The room... The room... The room is on fire
The room... The room... The room is on fire
The room... The room... The room is on fire
Better get some water, put the fiendfyre out...
Burn, fiendfyre... BURN!

My horcrux hunting, Voldie bashing takes a lot of practice
I'm not lame like Severus Snape
No I am cool like Sirius Black is
The cup is 5
And the diadem's 6
Then that must make me 7...
Now I'm naked with Dumbledore in Heaven

Now I'm back from the dead; let's cut off Nagini's head
We'll win the fight with RAB, Ron Weasley, Remus Lupin, and Tonks' help
And Severus Snape, Hagrid, mandrakes and Peeves, the Hogwarts Poltergeist
And the author, yeah, JK Rowling, 'cuz she's the anti-christ...

The room... The room... The room is on fire
The room... The room... The room is on fire
The room... The room... The room is on fire
Better get some water, put the fiendfyre out...
Burn, fiendfyre... BURN!
Track Name: What's the Spell
You’ve got that lightning scar on your head
Because Voldemort wants you dead
Now you’re stuck with me and your friend Ron
I bet you ask what the heck is going on…
Those Troll bogies
Hagrid’s keys
Creevies
And Harry, you and Ron can save the world without me

All this time I’ve been good but now
Oh, What’s the spell?
Do all the work and you mess around
And I don't really care about
Troll bogies
And port-keys
You can spare me Harry, Harry
All this time I've been good but now
I’m so fed up, can’t you tell

So what if I skip potions class today
I’ve got this cool time turner anyway
I’d rather read than wear a Horcrux all day
Don't tell me Ron
You show up and just say HEY? Hey

Your lame theories
All those decrees
Won’t you spare me
And Weasley, I don’t care if it’s me you fancy


All this time I’ve been good but now
Oh, What’s the spell?
Do all the work and you mess around
And I don't really care about
Troll bogies
And port-keys
You can spare me Harry, Harry
All this time I've been good but now
I’m so fed up, can’t you tell

All this time I’ve been good but now
Oh, What’s the spell?
Do all the work and you mess around
And I don't really care about
Troll bogies
And port-keys
You can spare me Harry, Harry
All this time I've been good but now
I’m so fed up, can’t you tell
Track Name: Reading
Reading, books by JK Rowling
By John Green, about some blades of grass
Reading, read to the excess
Some Dr. Seuss and others, I digress

Oh, reading
Maybe even a book called "Twilight"
Reading
That's what books are for
C'mon, raise your hands
Borrow a book to read
Forget 'bout those Notes that need Sparking
Oh, reading

Oh, reading
Tales of the "Magic Tree House"
Reading
The "Goblet of Fire"
Wearing, wearing Holden's hat
That kid's so cranky, he probably needs a nap

Oh, reading
Ways to train your dragon
Reading
Maybe some "Animorophs
C'mon, raise your hands
Borrow a book to read
Forget 'bout those Notes that need Sparking (Get it? SparkNote?)
Oh, reading