Noize From the Cupboard

by The 8th Horcrux

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about

The third release from The 8th Horcrux. This album features the talents of several of our friends and acquaintances in the world of wizard rock: our friend Bryce wrote the majority of "We R Death EateRs," our other friend Cale provided the killer sax solo on "Marauder's Map," and filker Alex Boyd drummed for us on "Wizarding Skillz" and "Lavender's Revenge." From a sonic perspective, this may be one of our best albums, as we finally figured out how to actually use a DAW.

credits

released July 1, 2011

Trina Sieg: Lead Guitar, Lead and Backup Vocals, Lyrics, Keyboard, Bass
Paul Thomas: Rhythm Guitar, Lead and Backup Vocals, Lyrics, Programming
Cale P: Saxophone on "Marauder's Map"
Alex Boyd: Drums on "Lavender's Revenge" and "Wizarding Skillz"

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about

The 8th Horcrux Ottawa, Kansas

The 8th Horcrux is a wizard rock band that specializes in Harry Potter-inspired tunes... with a familiar twist.

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Track Name: Wizarding Skillz
At Privet Drive, my life's not that great
My cousin treats me like a piece of crap
My Uncle Vernon is really fat
And my aunt is really cruel to me
But then one day I got the news
Hogwarts School was interested in me
The next day Ollivander's put a wand in my pocket

Wizarding skills, that's what I'm gonna need (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills
Wizarding skills, guess who's a celebrity? (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills

Guy named Ron looking at my scar
This Malfoy punk is really mean
Trolley lady's at the door
With Bertie Botts Beans

I put on the Sorting Hat
Hope I'm not in Slytherin
Quidditch practice after school
‘Cuz I'm the next big thing

Wizarding skills, that's what I'm gonna need (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills
Wizarding skills, guess who's a celebrity? (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills

Truth is... Voldemort is back
What's this I've been thrown into?
Well... he's going down

Yes he will - I've got love and he's a fool
And it'll always be that way
He'll always try to end my life
When my scar pains

Wizarding skills, that's what I just received (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills
Wizarding skills, Rowling's a celebrity? (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills
Wizarding skills, that's what I just received (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills
Wizarding skills, Rowling's a celebrity? (Harry, Harry)
Gimme those Wizarding skills
Track Name: Viva la Voldemort
I want to rule the world
Wands go up when I give the word
But at the moment I'm less then dead
Stuck on the back of some weird dude's head

I want to rule the skies
Watch as the light leaves Cedric's eyes
Listen as the crowds will say
Harry Potter is dead
Voldemort's head

Since Dumbledore's got the Sorcerer's Stone
I'll let my Basilisk go out to roam
And for some reason I can't foresee
Harry Potter will probably beat me
And though it might get old
I still want to rule the world

Now I'm just a memory
Trapped in a book for a century
I am Slytherin's only son
And I can't believe what I'd become
The Ministry of Magic swears
That I am just not there
And 'cuz dad abandoned my mom
Oh why would I keep the name Tom?

Since Dumbledore's got the Sorcerer's Stone
I'll let my Basilisk go out to roam
And for some reason I can't foresee
Harry Potter will probably beat me
And though it might get old
I still want to rule the world
Track Name: What's the Spell
You’ve got that lightning scar on your head
Because Voldemort wants you dead
Now you’re stuck with me and your friend Ron
I bet you ask what the heck is going on…
Those Troll bogies
Hagrid’s keys
Creevies
And Harry, you and Ron can save the world without me

All this time I’ve been good but now
Oh, What’s the spell?
Do all the work and you mess around
And I don't really care about
Troll bogies
And port-keys
You can spare me Harry, Harry
All this time I've been good but now
I’m so fed up, can’t you tell

So what if I skip potions class today
I’ve got this cool time turner anyway
I’d rather read than wear a Horcrux all day
Don't tell me Ron
You show up and just say HEY? Hey

Your lame theories
All those decrees
Won’t you spare me
And Weasley, I don’t care if it’s me you fancy


All this time I’ve been good but now
Oh, What’s the spell?
Do all the work and you mess around
And I don't really care about
Troll bogies
And port-keys
You can spare me Harry, Harry
All this time I've been good but now
I’m so fed up, can’t you tell

All this time I’ve been good but now
Oh, What’s the spell?
Do all the work and you mess around
And I don't really care about
Troll bogies
And port-keys
You can spare me Harry, Harry
All this time I've been good but now
I’m so fed up, can’t you tell
Track Name: Marauder's Map
If there's a destination you really want to go
But you don't know the passage or the corridor
A place to hide from Filch's cat
A gift from Prongs, yeah that's my dad

Pullin' out wands with secret passwords
There's two twin brothers up to no good
Just grab the map and give it a tap
Just give it a tap

Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)

Sneak through the halls with the invisible cloak
Thanks to Fred and George Weasley, those mischievous blokes
Leaving Snape none the wiser
Move through the castle like a Knight Bus driver
Hide my shoes with the cloak as I cruise
Sneak on over to Honeydukes
Hiding from Peeves using the map
Uh-oh, Here comes Filch... Let's skidat

Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Marauder's Map (Showing you where you want to go)
Track Name: Buckbeak
Buckbeak flying in the dead night
Take Sirius Black and go and fly
Flee tonight
We battled dementors fought a wolf and tuned time

Buckbeak flying in the dead night
Go before the guards can even see
And tonight
Now we have a moment run away and be free

Buckbeak fly
Buckbeak fly
Out of sight on a dark black night

Buckbeak flying in the dead night
Take Sirius Black and go and fly
Flee tonight
We battled dementors fought a wolf and tuned time
We battled dementors fought a wolf and saved a life
Track Name: Professor Lupin is a Wolf
Out on the Hogwarts ground by a violent tree
Sirius Black confronts his godson Harry
Turns out old Sirius was framed after all
He took the the blame while Peter was AWOL

Sirius is a hound, Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew
Snape gets out his wand, but he is all wrong
Lupin doesn't like the moon
His body deforms
He starts to transform
He's on the hunt and after you
Better locked in a cage
Howling with rage
Professor Lupin is a wolf

Stalked in the forest nowhere to hide
Harry and Hermione run with Beakbeak behind
Sirius falls; dementors come for a kiss
Harry saves him with his stag patronus

Sirius is a hound, Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew
Snape gets out his wand, but he is all wrong
Lupin doesn't like the moon
His body deforms
He starts to transform
He's on the hunt and after you
Better locked in a cage
Howling with rage
Professor Lupin is a wolf

Sirius is a hound, Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew
Snape gets out his wand, but he is all wrong
Lupin doesn't like the moon
His body deforms
He starts to transform
He's on the hunt and after you
Better locked in a cage
Howling with rage
Professor Lupin is a wolf
Track Name: We R Death EateRs
Dark and Dangerous
If you're one of us, make a horcrux
'Cause we make the purebloods fall in love
When we got our dark marks on and up
And yes of course we does
We're running this joint like the Slug Club
And no, you don't wanna mess with us
Got a horcrux on our necklace-ace

Got death written on my eyes
Robe is ripped all up the sides
Looking sick and petrified
So let's go-o-o (Let's Go!)

Tonight it will be dark ark a-a-a ark
The world will soon be ours ours ou-ou-ou ours
We're tearin' souls apart part pa-pa-pa part
You know just who we are
We R Deatheaters

Spell casting like we're dumb dumb du-du-du dumb
Your body will go numb numb nu-nu-nu numb
And Potter will be gone gone go-go-go gone
You know just who we are
We R Deatheaters

Voldie's risin' up
It's about dang time you live it up
I'm so sick of hearing about Sirius
It's making me feel imperius'd
I'm just talkin' truth
I'm telling you 'bout the things we do
We're stealin' elves clothes, checkin' out scars
Dressin' in black, Voldemort's nude
Ewww

Got death written on my eyes
Robe is ripped all up the sides
Looking sick and petrified
So let's go-o-o (Let's Go!)

Tonight it will be dark ark a-a-a ark
The world will soon be ours ours ou-ou-ou ours
We're tearin' souls apart part pa-pa-pa part
You know just who we are
We R Deatheaters

Spell casting like we're dumb dumb du-du-du dumb
Your body will go numb numb nu-nu-nu numb
And Potter will be gone gone go-go-go gone
You know just who we are
We R Deatheaters

Voldie's risin' up up up up up up up
Voldie's risin' up up up up up up up
Voldie's risin' up up up up up up up
Voldie's risin' up up up up up up up

Tonight it will be dark ark a-a-a ark
The world will soon be ours ours ou-ou-ou ours
We're tearin' souls apart part pa-pa-pa part
You know just who we are
We R Deatheaters

Spell casting like we're dumb dumb du-du-du dumb
Your body will go numb numb nu-nu-nu numb
And Potter will be gone gone go-go-go gone
You know just who we are
We R Deatheaters

I killed Sirius Black!
Track Name: Harry's Lazy Song
Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just want my four-poster bed
Don’t feel like reading owl post
My friends don’t write me anymore
‘Cuz today I swear I’m not doing anything

Ooh hoo hoo, Ooh hoo hoo, hoo ooh ooh, Nothing at all
Ooh hoo hoo, Ooh hoo hoo, hoo ooh ooh, Nothing at all

I’m gonna pack my trunk up and look at the sky
Saw the Grim but nobody’s gonna die
Look at Aunt Marge flying, passing by
I’m going scream out a spell and yell at Cousin Dudley
Cry a little bit ‘cuz Cho Chang doesn’t love me
But at Hogwarts, I’m the greatest man

Oh yes, I said it
I said it
I said it ‘cuz I can

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
Let’s go back to Hogwarts instead
I’d rather be inside the common room
The Knight Bus will be coming soon
‘Cuz today I swear I’m not doing anything

Ooh hoo hoo, Ooh hoo hoo, hoo ooh ooh, Nothing at all
Ooh hoo hoo, Ooh hoo hoo, hoo ooh ooh, Nothing at all

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up, Phoenix burning on a desk
I hope I don’t fall through the vanishing steps
In a perfect world, Hermione has bad grades
(Oh my gosh who has good grades)
I might pass Divination, get some seers to see
Get a slip to go to Hogmeade
And a Marauder’s Map to just sneak away

Oh yes, I said it
I said it
I said it ‘cuz I can

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
Let’s go back to Hogwarts instead
I feel like I am all alone
Get Ginny Weasley on the phone
‘Cuz today I swear I’m not doing anything
Nothing at all
Track Name: Bellatrix's Paramour
When you were younger you liked to make children cry
And cast spells at them
You split your own soul and I watched
As you purposely concealed them
And one day I found myself in the dark Azkaban
And that was the day that I promised I’d avenge you and get that bespeckled kid

Voldie
I love your twisted perception
I love your Horcrux collection
And your pallid complexion
I love your twisted perception

Baby I know, that you, really don’t have a soul
And you’ve gotta find a right way
To return sans the nasal-less face
And up until now, I had always sworn to myself
That I'm content with violence
Dementor’s Kiss is what I’d risk

I love your twisted perception
I love your Horcrux collection
And your pallid complexion
I love your twisted perception

And I’m falling for He-Who-Must-Not-Be
Oh, and I’m falling for He-Who-Must-Not-Be
Track Name: Umbridge, Leave Them Kids Alone
We don't need no inquisition
We don't need a headmistress
No dark art practice in the classroom

Umbridge leave them kids alone
Hey! Umbridge leave them kids alone!
All in all, she's just another witch in the hall
All in all, she's just another witch in the hall

We don't need no reformation
We don't need ministry control
No dark art practice in the classroom

Umbridge leave them kids alone
Hey! Umbridge leave them kids alone!
All in all, she's just another witch in the hall
Track Name: Lavender's Revenge
I thought that you knew, that I was in love with you
But I wish nothing but a curse on you both
Another girl just like me
Is her name Hermione
Would she latch on to you in the Common Room
How about in Herbology?
And would she bear a Weasley?
What are you doing with that pathetic Muggle?

‘Cuz the spell that I brewed that I laced with love
Is not going to fade
As the light did from Cedric’s eyes... no!
And every time I hear her name
I recall how you told me you'd hold until you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here right behind you
There’s no chance that you'll ever get away
It’s not fair to resign me and what's with this
Broken heart that you gave to me
You’re cruel, cruel, cruel, CRUCIO!

You seem very prim, things looks peaceful
I just saw a grim, I thought you should know
Did you ever love me, Mr. Ronald Weasley
You made it snow in the Great Hall at dinner
A bludger square in the face, I’d chain you down in a lake
I bet you see me whenever you snog her

‘Cuz the spell that I brewed that I laced with love
Is not going to fade
As the light did from Cedric’s eyes... no!
And every time I hear her name
I recall how you told me you'd hold until you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here right behind you
There’s no chance that you'll ever get away
It’s not fair to resign me and what’s with this
Broken heart that you gave to me
You’re cruel, cruel, cruel, CRUCIO!

‘Cuz the spell that I brewed that I laced with love
Is not going to fade
As the light did from Cedric’s eyes...
And you know it!
You'll be back with me as fast as You-Know-Who came back to us
I hope you feel
Well can you feel it?

And I'm here right behind you
There’s no chance that you'll ever get away
It’s not fair to resign me and what’s with this
Broken heart that you gave to me
You’re cruel, cruel, cruel, CRUCIO!
Track Name: Potterwatch (Parody Medley)
The Dementor’s Kiss goes a little like this
The Dementor’s Kiss goes a little like this

Ginny’s mom has got it going on
Ginny’s mom has got it going on
Ginny’s mom has got it going on
Ginny’s mom has got it going on

It’s Voldie, Voldie, don’t get killed by Voldie

Don’t put me in “Slytherine”
Don’t put me in “Slytherine”
Track Name: Horcruxes 2 Night
We used to fly with the kids in the pitch
But now it ain’t about no snitch
We wish Dumbledore was alive
‘Cuz right now we’re fighting to survive

We runnin’ ‘round England in Muggle attire
To fight Voldie’s fire and his evil empire
We got to stop him dead ‘cuz he is a live wire
We doin’ this fo’ Cedric ‘cuz now he’s a vampire

It’s six horcruxes we seek
It’s six horcruxes whose power we want to break
It’s six horcruxes I think
Dumbledore already broke the ring
And now we got to find a bloody crown, yes
Being a hero I’m stressed, yes
Boo for the loser named Ron, bye
Hope he don’t meet an end like “Firefly,” sigh
Nagini chased me, teleport to safety, 12 Grimmauld Place
Dot dot dot, we going crazy
Yeah, I’m muggle born, Voldemort couldn’t chain me
Shout out to “Def Eaters,” sorry that you couldn’t taze me
Ain’t being haughty, we misunderstood
Best believe that all the while we working for the Greater Good, Imperio!
This night just goes to show
Everything we’ve been striving fo’

Now ge-ge-ge-ge-get your wands out
Time to fight evil off and watch Ron pout
We’ve already tried everything we could think of
But killin’ Voldie is what we on the brink of

I wish that I could find these horcruxes tonight… tonight… tonight
And while we’re looking, Voldemort’s still alive… alive… alive
I wish that we could find these horcruxes tonight… tonight… (Got to find this horcrux) tonight… (Got to find this horcrux)
This is our moment, I just hope we don’t die… don’t die… (Got to find this horcrux) don’t die… (Got to find this horcrux)

Uhh, when I tell my friends
Run, run, run faster let’s hide in the city
Death Eaters be on my tail ‘cuz you know I’m H-Piddy
Using Polyjuice, we’ll infiltrate the Ministry
Dodging all the guards, oh crap, the Muggle-Born Committee
Shout out to a muggle band, “This Is Such a Pity”
“Magic is Might,” blech, how terribly witty
Aww, where is the locket, it’s drivin’ me mental
We’re trapped here with rainin’ offices and flying memos
Found Umbridge, she wasn’t alone
About 100 dementors, dang it got cold
And so we grabbed the locket, it was time to roll
Weasley really wanted out, but he didn’t go home yet
Yeah, be very afraid, Muggle-borns and traitors getting’ carried away
Ron thinks me and Hermione getting’ married today
Oh wait, here comes a Patronus to show us the way
Ooh, I see a snatcher with my eye
Dang, we got captured and nearly died
Showdown at the Malfoy Manor, humongous fight
I can’t believe we really made it and I’m partly surprised, I swear
This is the best scene in the book
I swear these stunts are as hard as they look
I’m really trying to figure out this whole deal
Because of course its in your head, but why’s that make it not real?

I wish that I could find these horcruxes tonight… tonight… tonight
And while we’re looking, Voldemort’s still alive… alive… alive
I wish that we could find these horcruxes tonight… tonight… (Got to find this horcrux) tonight… (Got to find this horcrux)
This is our moment, I just hope we don’t die… don’t die… (Got to find this horcrux) don’t die… (Got to find this horcrux)